Some days I feel like a walking contradiction. I hate change, but I also constantly crave it. I hate being stagnant, but I fear what will happen if I don’t. I’ve heard multiple times God will put you in situations where you’re so tired of yourself you will have to move forward due to not having any other choice. I’ve felt that so much this last year. I see myself recreating the same life for myself I’ve been working hard to avoid and I had to force myself to make a change. So, as a way to save myself from myself, I went on a challenge. I decided to fast and create more of a prayer routine to not only become closer to God, but to actually stop and listen to what God has planned for my next step.
To say this was difficult would be a huge understatement. I went off of social media, didn’t eat meat or dairy products and only consumed fruits and vegetables. The only way I knew what was going on was through television. In the first few days, I didn’t see much of a difference. I was eating better, but I wasn’t praying like I felt I should’ve been. Once I started opening up and discussing things with God, I knew I needed to make some lifestyle changes if I wanted to see improvements.
Praying in detail every day has been my main change to make in my life. I’ve always prayed, but being able to have a conversation about what scares, excites and consumes you is the ultimate way to keep a solid routine. I’ve also learned to have faith and not continue to pray on the same thing. When you truly can trust in God and believe in His will, you are able to relax and know what you want will happen for you.
Allowing myself not to compare myself to anyone has been another great change in my life. One day I was sitting with my mom and she was telling me I’ve been comparing myself to other family members and friends my entire life and I couldn’t help but think about how true that was. I think it’s just a natural habit that I desperately need to break. When you compare your journey to another person’s journey, you’ll never truly feel happy or free. You’ll always feel less than and not even consider what it took for that person to get to where you think you want to be. Success doesn’t have an age limit and everything is in God’s timing. The sooner you realize this, you can be happy for others in a genuine way, not in that fake, “I’m so happy for you but I secretly hate you” way.
Many of the successful people we know and love got where they are by never giving up on themselves or their dreams. What made them successful wasn’t the talent alone, but the drive to get them there. I know in my heart I’m doing what I love by writing and being an inspiration to others. I also know as long as I don’t give up on my craft and my passion, I’ll see true success. But what about in the meantime? What am I doing right now that could help me get to where I want to be. So many of us feel stuck and like we will never get to the place we think we’re destined to go that we end up not doing anything. I’ve done that before and the result was me being in the exact same place I didn’t want to be. If you’re not where you want to be and know you want out, make some changes now instead of waiting. For me, I know my finances have to improve, so I’ve worked on budgeting and saving. Instead of going to the salon, I do my own hair (like my hair in the photo above). This allows me to be creative and save money. Also, working on my mental, physical health has been important. If you don’t love and take care of yourself, nothing will come into fruition and if it does, you won’t be able to appreciate it because you’ll be too wrapped up in hating yourself. So trust God, your timing and don’t forget to love yourself and watch the universe move in your favor.