” ‘no’ might make them angry. but it will make you free.
– of no one has ever told you, your freedom is more important that their anger.”
Greetings lovely souls + welcome to the very first Wellness Wednesday. My dear sister-friend and also creator of this project, Elizabeth, asked me to write an article along the topic of self love and self care. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Tee Woods, an aspiring writer/creator of all things inspirational. I am a self care advocate and creative junkie at heart. I am here to spark an inspirational flame + to leave you with some gems that’ll help you along your self love/self care journey.
Have you ever made plans with someone but deep down you knew you really didn’t want to go, but instead said yes? Do you always show up for others but they can’t even do something as simple as call you to see how you’ve been? Over the years I have always been a people pleaser and always a “too nice to say no” type of girl, but you know what I’ve realized? Not allowing yourself to do what you really want to do (my true inner dialogue: “No I don’t want to go to this party, I’d rather stay home to sip a nice glass of wine and take a hot bubble bath“), leaves you feeling unfulfilled because you’re not fulfilling your needs and wants. Then you’re left feeling stuck because if you never muster up the confidence to say ‘no’ you’ll always get sucked into doing things you really don’t want to do. So I would advise you to be selfish with yourself. That’s right, absolutely all-about-you selfish! I do not mean conceited or arrogant, however, you should be selfish with yourself and your time because time is too valuable to be wasted. Remember: time is non-refundable. To sum it up, what I’m trying to say is IT’S OKAY TO SAY ‘NO’! Practice it. Say it to yourself in the mirror until it becomes just as comfortable in your vocabulary as ‘yes’ is. Set healthy boundaries and limits in friendships and relationships or you will always be giving too much of yourself and not having anything left to give back to yourself.
In the self care/self love journey, practicing and mastering the power of ‘no’ is vital. The word ‘no’ in itself is a boundary between you and another person. There is not a limit on how many times you can say no, this is your life, you’re in charge, the Head Honcho. When the timing is right and you feel like committing yourself to something that will spark joy (taking that trip to somewhere on your bucket list, going out for drinks with close friends, spending a weekend with your mom, etc) then you will say yes! Setting boundaries and limits are a form of self respect because you begin to acknowledge what it is that truly makes you happy and self sufficient; you also recognize what things/people you will and will not tolerate. This will not allow people to emotionally manipulate or walk all over you. In exchange of being afraid to say ‘no’ you will gain freedom. ‘No’ will set you free. Always remember that your needs and wants are important and self love/respect is not selfish. Protect your energy, use your time wisely, set boundaries and set yourself free because you deserve it.
Love + light,
“Know your boundaries and respect your limits. Sometimes the answer to others has to be no. If you keep over-extending yourself, you will have nothing left to give when the time is right.”
-Alex Elle (from her book, Words From A Wanderer)